An "ahhh crap" moment... far from an "Ahh ha" moment.

Recently I have been going through some health challenges. Nothing serious...really, more so annoying. So about a month ago I found out I had Shingles.  What are shingles some of you my be wondering... Its Chicken Pox on CRACK!! Apparently they follow nerve lines. Typically people get them on their back and sides or on their face/head. They have some commercials about the shingles virus... I totally watch those now... haha

Anyway I was fortunately enough to get them on my face. Luckily I kept those bad boys contained and the spread was very minimal. I didn't always want to wear  bag over my head at least. Anyway that cleared up fairly quickly and I was back on track with running and working on my fitness. You see I want to run a FULL 26.2 miles MARATHON!!! Woot Wooot. Just thinking about it makes me feel pretty bad A! Well a couple weeks after the shingles fiasco I started to feel really terrible. Like fatigue, grumpy, stiff and swollen joints, tired all the time, and I kinda wanted to punch everyone in the face! I can be grumpy/hangry but this was extreme and lasting too long so to the doc I went! Sure enough my Thyroid is way out of wack! Like normal is .3-4 and in February I was at an 8. That is high but manageable. Well last week it was a 44. That was the "ahhh crap" moment!

Ahhhh crap- thats why life sucks so much, ahh crap-there goes my training schedule, ahh crap- I can barely run a mile, ahh crap- I want ice cream. Yepp...

Alas there is an "ahh ha" moment. Sometimes life sucks and you drop your protein shake, or you get shingles in my case, but you re-adjust and make a new plan! Well the other night I decided I didn't feel like crap 100% so I went for a run. I felt so light and really felt like I was so dang graceful. Uhh yeah...

(Just imagine this picture in running form vs dancing... I may or may not have busted out a few dance moved during my run though.)

Anyway when the run was done I sat down to drink my post run chocolate milk- good for the bones and belly- am I right!?!?! My ankles instantly started to swell. I cant count how many time I woke up that night in pain and I usually sleep one hair shy from death! I think my full marathon goal needs to be adjusted just a wee bit. Girl cant run 26 miles if 1 mile make her feel like her feet are about to explode. There was another "ah crap" moment. But I am learning to adjust, re-plan, and move on.

What have you had to adjust, re-plan, and move on from recently?

You don't have to try so hard.

Last night while I was in the car with the family this song came on the radio. In true Jessica form I started to sing to it. Since day one this song sunk deep into my heart. I have listened to Colbie Caillat since her MySpace days....ohh yeah! I remember the first time I heard Coco on the radio. I totally squealed. This woman has an amazing voice and sooooo many beautiful messages in her songs. But I digress...

In that moment, in the car: full of boys: on the freeway, it hit pretty dang hard. Enough that I started to cry. Lovingly the hubby placed his hand on my hand and just held it there. I could not help but feel so blessed to be loved so unconditionally. You see I hardly were anything on my face aside from lotion. What you see on the daily is what I look like before I go to bed and when I wake up. For the life of me I cannot figure out how to wear makeup and look glamorous like all of the make-up tutorials I see posted to facebook or the "glamour shots" friends always seem to have like everyday!! Seriously how can these girls look so gorgeous all the time?!?!?

I make time for silly faces

Maybe I am the only one but I always wished I could look amazing like that...even just once but I can't, I am not them. I don't want to make the time to learn or apply makeup. Then I decided I was lazy and plain Jane was who I was going to be. It hasn't been up until the last couple years that I came up with another view of myself.

Now don't get me wrong makeup and girls who wear it is/are beautiful. If it makes you feel more confident then by all means but I see it as a means to cover up what you are naturally blessed with. I see it as a means to hide, whatever it may be that your hiding from. There is so much beauty in what is natural. I have heard girls say, "Well I just look _____ with out it. (sick, dead, pale, sunken, fat, ect,) Or that others think that of them. Just like how when others see me with make-up on-it is a shock because its so rare. The same can be said when others don't wear makeup, its  shock because its rare. Media has trained us to feel we need "something" to look and feel beautiful but what we fail to remember is that beauty comes in all shapes and forms and unfortunately what is deemed beautiful changes and so many of us are trying to catch that train when it leaves.

Don't conform to the expectations others decide, live up to your own. Trust and have confidence that your father and your mother created a beautiful being who is more that a face on Instagram or a good angled body shot on Facebook.


You don't have to try so hard...
The beauty is already there.

Battle of the sexes when it comes to weight loss

The other night I was talking to my husband about my weight loss struggles. He recently has reached a weight loss goal that turned body fat % goal and I was JEALOUS! I’m not even going to sugar coat it for you!

WHY ME??!?!?!?

How come I can’t lose the weight.

Damn pregnancies

Damn hormones

I have done it before

Why is it so hard now??



Yeah I was a pretty sad sap. My husband is soo good to me though. He looked at me and told me he used to think that women were just being dramatic and that they really were not trying, but watching me over the course of the last 8 months has got him thinking differently. My initial though was- Well what about when I was trying after we had baby #1. But I kept my mouth shut.

It got me to thinking though- Why is it easier for men vs women when it comes to weight loss/fat loss. Everything I read keeps pointing me to MUSCLE. I knew I like getting buff for a reason.

So now the breakdown and slight technical for muscle. Easy for me to gain…why… testosterone. In comparison the women- men can gain muscle a lot easier and in more bulk because of the big T. That does not me we cant gain it- we just cannot gain it as much or as quickly unless your going to “supplement.”

 Anyway with all that said muscle is a huge contributing factor to weight loss- I can personally attest to it-that’s how I lost over 40lbs after baby #1-I focused on building muscle and the weight loss was an amazing side effect to it!!